Scientists, nutritionists and mystics have long agreed that regular infusions of vitamin J (the johns) is an important and integral part of every healthy diet. Although the proper usage guidelines vary from expert to expert, the most common dose of one punch-to-the-face-while-dancing-to-the johns, is generally recommended.
New studies, however, by leading researchers in the pseudo-medical industry have shown that, not only composed of wholesome ROCK goodness, Vitamin J (the johns), in some cases, can miraculously cure heinous disease. This study has shown that when exposed to concentrated levels of Vitamin J(the johns) 90% of swine flu sufferers have spontaneously risen from their hospital beds and begun dancing. This reaction, what researchers are now calling the johns effect, is so strong that in a rare 2% of cases dancing patients spit beer on everything and everyone around them (including expensive equipment).
Researchers have attributed the johns effect to the high levels of awesome that permeates the johns, especially in their pants.
